Batmobile
Driving in Mumbai is getting tougher by the day. Yep the great S loves his city, but is no frog in no well (Damsels who dispute this theory may test it with the kiss experiment...maybe prince charming is lurkin in here...please test; dont let the opp fly by). Ok enough of the frog stuff. The great S is also no slacker (please stop rolling on the floor) and does choose to do something about everything (The great mgmt mantra). So if the car cant cope with the road; the road must cope with the car... or something of that sort. Much brainstorming has led me to believe that I need to "enhance the road engagement capabilities of my vehicle". In plain English accessories that will help me cope. So without much more TP lemme start listing
4 features I will add to my car (money permitting):
1) The auto lance: This amazing device ( to be said a' la Jack Lemon in the great race) will automatically sense auto rickshaws that deign to come in the way and swoop upon them much like the knights from King Arthurs round table, and knock them off the road thereby clearing the road for the great S. Keeping with modern design and aesthetics this device needless to say will be hidden under normal operations and will make itself available only when called upon (24 X 7??).
2) The beam mirror: This usefull piece of contraption will reside in the rear of the car and will make itself most usefull when driving on the western express highway. The mirror will pop up and occupy the space taken with the rear wind shield and reflect the light from nincompoops who choose to blur our vision with their high beam. The beam mirror will have a robust and flexible mount that will ensure that the high beam is accurately reflected to the drivers eyes.
3) The rear head lamps: 2 in nos, these bright and shiny "candles" will have a dual purpose i> to augment the beam mirror; ii> complimentory to the front blink which says me coming a blink from these will say me going.
4) The incredible hulk: To be used in dire circmstances like when one feels like steam rolling over the vermin that choose to indiscriminately block the path of the great S (yes double parkers, jay bird drivers, stupid valets....). The process of steam rolling must be slow and must comprehensively flatten the said target much as it is done in toon land (Oh lord...make me a toon in my next life). The process, optionally could be reversible with a good hand pump (to be operated by the flatee not the flater)
With this wish list I head to the workshop. Will come back with an estimate.
Please note all these ideas have been registered at the copyrights and patents offices and are under examination. Patent pending. Gimme the days of the Gullotine when one could invent whatever one wanted.
4 features I will add to my car (money permitting):
1) The auto lance: This amazing device ( to be said a' la Jack Lemon in the great race) will automatically sense auto rickshaws that deign to come in the way and swoop upon them much like the knights from King Arthurs round table, and knock them off the road thereby clearing the road for the great S. Keeping with modern design and aesthetics this device needless to say will be hidden under normal operations and will make itself available only when called upon (24 X 7??).
2) The beam mirror: This usefull piece of contraption will reside in the rear of the car and will make itself most usefull when driving on the western express highway. The mirror will pop up and occupy the space taken with the rear wind shield and reflect the light from nincompoops who choose to blur our vision with their high beam. The beam mirror will have a robust and flexible mount that will ensure that the high beam is accurately reflected to the drivers eyes.
3) The rear head lamps: 2 in nos, these bright and shiny "candles" will have a dual purpose i> to augment the beam mirror; ii> complimentory to the front blink which says me coming a blink from these will say me going.
4) The incredible hulk: To be used in dire circmstances like when one feels like steam rolling over the vermin that choose to indiscriminately block the path of the great S (yes double parkers, jay bird drivers, stupid valets....). The process of steam rolling must be slow and must comprehensively flatten the said target much as it is done in toon land (Oh lord...make me a toon in my next life). The process, optionally could be reversible with a good hand pump (to be operated by the flatee not the flater)
With this wish list I head to the workshop. Will come back with an estimate.
Please note all these ideas have been registered at the copyrights and patents offices and are under examination. Patent pending. Gimme the days of the Gullotine when one could invent whatever one wanted.
penned by Sanjay at 12:29 PM
1 Comments:
a toon in your NEXT life??
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